Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Discipline Is Good

Not everyone likes discipline.

When you're young, the words are some of the worst to hear.

When you start getting older, you realize that maybe it's not so bad.

When you get to the age where you want to change aspects of your life, you realize that it's required. That's where I am at.

I recently turned 29, and have realized that I need some discipline in areas that I am not very strong in. I want to live a good, full life, but not one against His will. So I recently took up a gym membership, and just this week has been great. My diet is slowly changing, but it's changing. And in the 4 days I've been signed up, I've gone 3 times (they closed early one day).

But I do realize that it takes more discipline than I want to give. It takes a headstrong approach at times to continue doing an exercise I may not like (or that requires endurance I don't think I have but actually can have if I would just stick with it).

For my health, I'm working out, and trying to eat better. I'm feeling better, but slowly. I'm not huge, but I could stand to lose 30lbs.

This all reminds me of when I started serving God. The discipline I had to have just to go to services, mid-week services and special services. The discipline I had to have (and still need) to open up my Bible and to get on my knees and pray.

God was with me in that. And I know that God doesn't want me to be unhealthy if I can help it. My life has been miserable at times, my fitness level fitting in there many a times. Not that the grass is greener, but that if I can feel healthier, then I am going to. I'm not trying to keep up with someone else, I'm wanting to get out of this initial-obesity feeling I have been having lately.

I do computer programming for my day job, and at night I'm generally a couch potato or (gasp) on the computer. Not anymore.

I will still watch T.V., and play computer games, but I won't be pigging out (often) while I am doing those activities anymore. I need a healthier lifestyle, and I know that it takes work. I didn't get out of shape in a day, and I won't get in shape in a day.

Look at the discipline that is required to live a life for God. Check the Bible, there's prophets and apostles and disciples that had to have the discipline to keep at it. We still need it today. I still need it today.

Need A Break?

I'm a huge Jennifer Knapp fan. I'm distraught that I never got to see her perform live, or even just say "Hi" at a meet & greet. So when i found the following post that she had made back in 2002, I was excited and I think you'll enjoy it. I know I did :)

I Need A Break by Jennifer Knapp.

Some Private Time With GOD

Last night I got the privilege of spending near 45 minutes in prayer and worship at church, alone.

I fought hard against the flesh to go, and while I was there I had to battle through some other obstacles, but I am so glad I went. I haven't got a chance to pray like that in a long time, and so I took advantage of it as best as I could.

It was the highlight of my week, that private time with God. :D

This Week's Lesson: How To Praise God

My wife and I teach Sunday School, and this week's lesson was "How To Praise God". It referenced the following:

Psalm 34:1
"I will bless the LORD at all times: his praise shall continually be in my mouth."

The story was about Paul and Silas, and how they were imprisoned for preaching Jesus Christ and for doing good works. The community of religious folk didn't like it, especially when they rebuked the spirit of seer that followed them (the one that made the religious fold rich because of her fore-knowledege).

So when Paul and Silas were in prison, after having been beaten, and they started praising God. I'm sure prison's aren't the quietest places on earth, and probably the same that night. But they still praised God in song.

When the earthquake started, I wonder who the first prisoner was that realized that the singing of the preacher was setting them free? I know it was only God that kept them there, that's for sure. The presence of God is so sweet, whether in prison or on vacation.

Then the guard charged in, thought the prisoners had escaped, and was ready to take his own life. This was common back then, as you would have to forfeit your life for the one who kept his. At that moment, Paul and Silas let him know that they were all still there - a miracle in and of itself. The guard was baptized that night, and if I am not mistaken, received the Holy Ghost as well.

The whole moral of the story is that, while most of us would whine and groan when in that same predicament, whether it be because of doing bad or doing good. Paul and Silas chose to praise God, and not just worry about themselves. Because they chose to do so, an entire prison got to experience God's awesome power (not only were Paul & Silas set free, the entire prison was), and at the very least, the guard came to the knowledge of Christ.

What a blessing we can be if we would just be more concerned with God than our own selves.

A Long Time Coming

I finally got a chance to get back to my home state, Maine.

My gram passed away last Tuesday at a ripe old age of 82, and was serving the Lord. So I got a chance to see my family that hasn't seen me in 7-10 years or more, and I am so thankful for that.

He will take you where He wants you to go, you just need to be willing to move.

A Month Already?

I left my old job on the 8th of June. That's 4 weeks today!

Wow, has it already been a month?

It's been so great not being at that old job anymore. Sure, I've done some side-work for them, but nothing even remotely close as to what I had to manage before I left. Life has slowed down some, I've done some great things around the house, like... being nicer!

Not having the influence of that man in my life anymore sure has made a difference. I know that the new job won't always make me happy, as there have been days and there will be days where I struggle, but that not-withstanding, I'm certainly a cheerier person as of late!

I read something that has been helping too. It was a description of what a seasoned sailer vs a novice sailer could do, or so I believe. That a novice sailor can be pushed around by the storms on the sea and hopefully get where he's going, but will be blown about a whole lot. The seasoned sailor, though, knows where he's going and doesn't worry about the storms, because even in the storms he knows how to keep his ship going in the right direction, even if it's against the wind.

The novice sailor gets distracted by the storm. The seasoned sailor focuses on the destination.

That's how I want to be. It won't happen overnight, but over time, I hope to change my attitude towards certain things and my personality during others. Slowly but surely, I desire to be experienced in this life for the Lord. But you don't understand how to steer during a storm until you experience them, and I hope that I can make it to the destination I've chosen.

Lord, help me to be a seasoned sailor that I will make it to where You are.

Today's The Day

It's been over 2 weeks since I last posted. For that, I apologize. But, I have good news!

Are you ready?

My God has lined up another job for me that easily makes this one worth all the toil and trouble! And guess what?

Today's my last day at this position. I will be working for another company, locally, that is paying me more and wanting what I've got to offer, all thanks to my trust in God.

To say I haven't had doubt over the past year or more of job searching would be a lie. I've had my share, and I've learned new stuff and turned to other stuff. But it's what He originally helped me to decide that has come to fruition, and for that, I am thankful.

Instead of a 6 month temp-to-hire, it's turned into a 6 week temp-to-hire. And I start Monday!

Praise be to God, not only in the good times, but also in the storms and the times of lowliness.

He doesn't necessarily deliver us when we want it, He delivers us when it's best for us, not by what we think, but by His wisdom :)

Short & Sweet

Well, I've been waiting for a long time for this. Tomorrow might finally be the day that I can put in my two week notice!

I've not been too great at work lately, because really, I am so done with this job. I got some revitalization today, but that can only last so long.

So, here's to God seeing us through our trials and tribulations. He doesn't take the storm away, He just helps you through it, if you depend on Him. And boy, have I needed His help.

So, whether I get an offer I like or not, here's to Jesus, the Alpha and the Omega!

Clarity vs. Doubt and Confusion

So I'm stressing about work again - you'd think I'd be done with that by now, wouldn't you?

It's another day, and another way to analyze how this whole thing is going. I've come to realize that my client doesn't seem to know how to write stuff down. Honestly. It's like it's foreign to him.

Throughout my days at work, I get interrupted with his ideas, as he tells me either about how something is broken, how it is possibly broken or a new feature he or a customer wants. While it doesn't seem so bad, remember, I try to stay busy throughout the day. So, for me to be working and be completely taken off-guard with his interruptions proves to be quite annoying. If he could write it up and then set it on the stack, it'd be fine.

Case in point
This morning, immediately after I got to work, I had an email from him about how there were 800 missing users. Talk about taking me off-guard. Turns out that an email from a couple weeks back that stated, "Please give all users the password 'abcd'" was actually to be interpreted "Please add all agents that don't currently have user accounts and assign them the password 'abcd'". If you work in IT, or even if you don't, you can see how this would be interpreted. So this morning, he's all on my case, telling me, "Josh, that's not what the customer wanted - you told him it was done." Done to the letter of the email? Yes. Done as he desired but didn't express? No.

Clarity in the email would have been great. Documentation or something that would describe what's desired - what the end result would be.

I'm glad God isn't like this. He's given us tons of documentation about how He wants it all to turn out - we should end up looking like Jesus to someone that doesn't know our name or face. It's well written, it's tried and true, and it's only doable through God.

We work with God on it, believing, asking, seeking, knocking, experiencing. Even on the smaller scale things, He makes sure His people know exactly what's required of them. He doesn't skimp on detail in the old testament or in the new - He simply tells us outright.

I like that.

I'm Not Superman

Lately I've been dealing with a lot of stress at work. I've gotten to the point where I just don't care anymore. I want to, I want to do my job with gusto, but I just don't have the oompf it seems.

After last weeks fiasco, and all that built up to it, I feel like I should just lay my head down and sleep through the day. Don't get me wrong, I'm not defeating myself, I just feel overworked - again. I feel like I am responsible for all that goes on in my job.

• If the data isn't right, I need to have it fixed ASAP.
• If an email or three doesn't go out, I need to look in the code, ASAP.
• If there is a bug, it's got to be fixed ASAP.
• If new data is needing to be setup, it needs setup ASAP.
• If my client is having trouble with anything, he needs help ASAP.
• If a support issue needs answered, it must be done ASAP.
  

Let's not forget to add in the fact that my client likes to continue to email me concerning issues I have absolutely zero control over, even thought I've told him time and time again. He likes to chat about his business but is clueless over the fact that I'm already gone.

It just feels like it's not working out. I've become disgruntled. I'm not happy dealing with his customers and having to offer tech support, as a majority of them honestly don't seem to know much of anything about computers at all. Realtors and their assistants who tend to be over 40 and 50 years old, new to doing things on a computer.

It's rather frustrating.

So instead of continuing on this road that I don't want to be on, that I don't want to arrive at it's destination, I've decided to take the next exit. I've decided to write a new chapter in my life.

Now, I don't pretend to know if this is the right decision, but I am tired of being confused and concerned about my future. I am a son of God and I know He will take care of me, but I can't simply be a pushover either.

God does want us to have backbones. He does want us to stand up. That's what He wanted from Adam & Eve, from the prophets and from the apostles. Someone that would stand up and not be ashamed. Someone that found who they were in God and not in this world. Someone that believed in themselves, because they believed in God, and knew that He believed in them.

I want to spread the gospel. I want to live the gospel. I want to be an example to others, and I feel like up until now I've been a failure. I've rarely stood up for what I believe in, life-wise. I could tell you how I've been whisked away with the times throughout my entire life, just letting life take me where it leads me. That's how I ended up where I am in my career, one of the major aspects of my life that I want to change. I'm not happy where I am in life. I'm looking down the road and seeing that my destination isn't my desire. That where I want to be is where I won't be if I don't get myself moving, if I don't take hold of this and instead of just hanging, start directing.

I'm tired of riding the bull. It was fun for a while, but I've gotten pretty banged up. Let's try the horse - I can control the speed and the direction.

Not only am I aiming for a career shift, but also a shift in my dealings with people. I want to live like Jesus wants me to live. I want to help others come to Christ

I believe I can do this. I feel like I need this. Everything before has let up to this day, this moment.

I've chosen my path, and I will hold fast.

I want to be purely His. Purely.

I Didn't Realize I Needed That

That's how I am today.

Yesterday, after 2-3 solid days of grief with work, I started talking to a friend. I let him know how much I wanted to quit my job and do almost anything else, almost.

For the past 2.5 years, I've been working basically as a contractor for a client, and time and time again I've thought of moving on. What's always holding me back is the amount of knowledge I have to gain to make a career change.

I work with Php and MySQL everyday. Now these are two technologies that are very robust and I've come to know very well. The problem arises in job searching, because I can rarely if ever find a company looking for those primary items on a resume. Instead, what I do see multitudes of, is the competing technology, ASP .NET and MS SQL - basically a Linux vs. Microsoft option.

Here's the interesting part: Although I see tons and tons of jobs for the Microsoft technology, I continue to stick with what I know, the Linux technology. I've only ever dabbled in attempting to learn the other, more as a side thing than a career change thing.

Yesterday, I had an epiphany.

Here I am, bogged down with who I am and what I do, needing to get a change of pace and shift my career a bit, yet I am so stubborn as to think I'll get where I'm wanting to go on a road that I am refusing to move from. If I don't want to be on this road, then why aren't I getting off the exit? Why am I not learning the Microsoft technology to make a change and actually be able to get a different job, and shift my career in the process?

It makes me realize how this world works. That's exactly how living in this world gets. You want to get to Heaven, but you refuse to change the road your on.

Get off at the exit, already.

The road to Heaven is a different road than most of are used to. It's different than what television and magazines would have us think. Aren't you looking at the signs? Do you really think that in Heaven, we're all gonna be talking about some celebrity's baby or the newest Tarantino movie? We're not going to be playing XBox in Heaven.

Heaven is a place where we will be finally reconciled with God. Forever. Maybe to you, that's odd. Maybe it's even a bit scary. If so, then you probably don't know Him all that well, because it's going to be awesome.

It doesn't get any better than what we should be striving for, not necessarily what we are striving for.

I'm going to be spending time learning the Microsoft technology. Why? When I found out about Jesus and having a relationship with Him, I figured it would take me where I eventually want to be - a place that is peaceful, happy, and forever loving. Sure beat the heck out of the destination I had before that - I had nowhere I was headed for.

Head for something better - head for Jesus, head for God - and in doing so you may be happier than you thought you would be.

That's Rewarding

Sunday School was somewhat of an event yesterday. While it was nice, and I feel like I did get the message for the lesson across (that's my aim), I am pleased by something that happened much later in the morning.

One of the children that attends our class had walked away for 3 months. Her friend invited her back, and she came. She's 10 years old, and comes from a broken home. Let's just say her and I aren't exactly buddy-buddy.

Originally, she wanted to get baptized in Jesus' name, but left before doing so, seemingly bawking at the event. More-so, it was the effect that our Christmas play was having on her, she wanted to do it but didn't want to practice, so my wife decided that she was going to get cut (we only had 5 practices, they were pretty important). After that, she stopped coming. Though we tried to reason with her and continually asked her best friend about her, she still failed to come.

Well, yesterday was her second week back. She was still a little rough in class, being who she is. I personally enjoying being friends with the kids and helping them to learn more about God in that manner than physically teaching a group of 6-9 year olds. She's the oldest in our class and due to graduate to the next class in September, and yesterday I felt like she had a breakthrough.

We had a missionary at the church, and when the altar call went out, she came forward. What happened next I didn't expect. She began to raise her hands and the missionary started to pray with her. She stood and prayed with assistance from others for 10 minutes or more. I know I was not the only one hoping that she would receive the Holy Ghost, but I was also doing the best I could for her by interceding - I've been in those situations, and I know how the mind can get distracted. I did not want her to leave wanting, but to get her fill.

Needless to say, my wife and I are quite proud of her, and we are hoping that this is just the start. I'm sure baptism in Jesus' name will be discussed again before long, and we're hoping that she goes through with it this time.

I don't take much of any credit for what happened except hopefully being a good example, but I do believe the missionary's sermon was what gave her the momentum to get out of that seat and come to the front. She's learned this stuff in Sunday School and is now seeing it at work in her own life.

That's rewarding, and I'm glad my wife and I could help her to see how good God really is - for He is truly awesome.

What Child Is This?

Wow, blink and it's gone. Has It Really Been That Long? 4 months and counting since my last blog - what is wrong with me?

I have tons going on in life, you'd think I'd at least have time to share it with you all.

God is still doing amazing things in and around my life. Here's a taste:

Last week, one of our Sunday School students called (he's 9), and was asking if he could help teach. I told him that if he prepared and cleared it with my wife and I, that sure, we'd love to have him help out. He got excited, and let us know he'd run it by us, and then the conversation ended.

Apparently, after said conversation, he grabbed his Bible and trekked over to his grandma's house to ask for some help (she informed us that this brought a tear to her eye). He asked for her help with writing out scripture he had found.

He called us back later on to tell us he was going to read from Isaiah 9:2-7. This is what he had his grandma help him write out, and shared with us in class:
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2 "The people that walked in darkness have seen a great light: they that dwell in the land of the shadow of death, upon them hath the light shined."
3 "Thou hast multiplied the nation, and not increased the joy: they joy before thee according to the joy in harvest, and as men rejoice when they divide the spoil."
4 "For thou hast broken the yoke of his burden, and the staff of his shoulder, the rod of his oppressor, as in the day of Midian."
5 "For every battle of the warrior is with confused noise, and garments rolled in blood; but this shall be with burning and fuel of fire."
6 "For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace."
7 "Of the increase of his government and peace there shall be no end, upon the throne of David, and upon his kingdom, to order it, and to establish it with judgment and with justice from henceforth even for ever. The zeal of the LORD of hosts will perform this."

I'm stoked that one of the students we teach, especially that age, undertook such a task. He gave us a short, one sentence meaning of the scripture after reading it - that it's about hope and promise.

I'm glad God continues to work in my life. I am far from perfect, so it makes it that much better to know that the King hasn't left the building.